Debrief Info for families

The following pages are provided to resource you in receiving your students back home. Some of the information is directed to the family members and other parts of this information is directed to the students. We suggest that you print out these pages and re-read them several times to help you feel better equipped to help your student process the experience they have just had. We would also like to suggest that this printed material be handed to significant others so that many of your family are all working together to make the students growth and transition as smooth and possible. We have started the debriefing process aimed at helping prepare our students for some of the emotions and reactions that they most probably will experience in the coming days and weeks. It is a longer journey than we can hope to finish whilst away so we want to help you feel equiped to take up the supporting role that is needed at this time. It is our hope and prayer that you all enjoy the new person that is rejoining your home

Our hope in running this Philippines trip is to further equip these young people to became ‘extra-ordinary’ adults, and to grow a healthy ‘others’ mindedness. We also would like to assist families to pull together to share one another’s lives as we see this as vital in teaching all the children that move through Southern Hills Christian College.

If at any time you feel like you need some assistance with your students re-entry please make contact with the college to arrange a chat or meeting with Pastor Pete.

Re-Entry Stress 
Definition:
                   Re-entry stress is like culture shock in many ways - only in reverse. While culture shock is associated with a sense of disorientation brought on by a new and unfamiliar environment, re-entry stress is precipitated by returning to a setting you presume to be familiar, but which in reality is no longer the same because you have changed.

It is the unexpected nature and subtlety of such change that will cause stress for your student. Your once familiar and comfortable environment no longer appears the same. Something definitely has changed. But you don't easily recognise just what has been altered.

Suddenly you find yourself out of phase with your own culture. Your reaction may come in the form of bewilderment, dismay, disillusionment and perhaps even irritation or anger. Somehow, "things are just not the way they used to be.", "nobody seems to care.", "nobody really understands.".

There are several contributing factors to re-entry stress. One is that you are being caught by surprise - you do not anticipate change and consequently are unprepared to cope. Another factor is value conflict. Your values, once taken for granted and even highly cherished, now seem of lesser significance or of little importance at all. Your way of thinking, your manner and your responses to many situations have been changing. Often these changes are not apparent until you are back in your own culture.

Common symptoms and effects of re-entry stress

1. Disorientation - feeling out of place, not fitting in

2. Feelings of loneliness, isolation, or being lost in the crowd

3. Restlessness - a desire to "get away" from those who don't seem to understand or care

4. Feeling that nobody understands your experience or that nobody cares

5. Feeling tired, listless

6. Critical attitude toward home country - its waste, extravagance, wrong way of doing things, etc.

7. Loss of identity - just "another cog in a big wheel"

8. Inability to communicate new ideas, concepts freely

9. Feeling of superiority - standing aloof from others because of your overseas experience

10. Feeling of dissatisfaction

11. Defensive in responses

12. Retreat, withdrawal, lack of concern

13. Unnatural, uncomfortable responses to "ordinary" situations

14. Confusion over conflicting attitudes and responses

15. Rejection of overseas experiences or a desire to forget and not talk about them

Basic Debriefing Tips for Family and Friends 

1. Listen, listen, and listen some more.
            Student  will have many emotionally laden stories to tell. The most loving response family and friends can have is to sit regularly, without time constraints, and listen until all the stories have been told (and re-told). One great way to spend time unpacking the trip for your student is to spend time with them over this blog and/or their Personal Journal. Move through day at a time, the stories will flow and will really help your student to feel heard and understood.


2. Expect the student to be a different person.
             Global experiences change a person. Encounters with poverty, a new culture, inability to communicate in an unknown language, and being an ethnic minority possibly for the first time will alter the way your student views and interacts with the world, including you and your family. Seek to discover the changes in your student and help him/her to make adjustments to living in Australia. Also allow the changes in your student to bring changes in your family, if your student has grown, then your family will have to grow to make it meaningful. Also your student may be experiencing grief at saying goodbye to people with whom they have connected.

3. Help the student find places to share his/her story.
               Encourage returning students to speak at gatherings and help them to make contact with churches, youth groups and any other groups that would be interested in hearing about their experience. If a student does not like to speak in public, encourage him/her to invite family and friends over for small gatherings where stories and pictures from the trip can be shared.

4. Help students in their church and youth groups for service by encouraging them to:
a. Learn more about the nation they have just visited as well as any other nation they have on their heart

b. Commit to giving financially a regular portion of what they earn (a regular and defined portion assist people to fit their personal changes into regular life without it being forgotten or producing a fanatic)

c. Consider planning the next year so that a similar trip can be taken soon

d. Study the Bible for, and lead Bible studies about, God’s heart for the nations

e. Mobilise fellow students and friends to consider giving time and money to international mission service.




Between Two Worlds: Returning Home 
            Dr. Miriam Adeney, a Christian anthropologist, tells her students that they "will never be able to go ‘home’ again. They will probably always leave part of themselves behind, and thereafter will be split. And home may be in more than one place. But that is the price they pay for the richness of having experienced more than one culture deeply."

Some suggestions for Christian Families:

1. Help your student to find other returnees (short-term volunteers, missionaries) with whom you can share and have fellowship.

2. Give your student time to readjust. Be patient.

3. Recognise and accept which transition stage your student is going through, and remember that "reverse culture shock" or "re-entry shock" is a normal part of the process of returning home.

4. Encourage your student to have a good sense of humor. Be aware, though, that your student could feel that you are laughing at him/her and the mission experience if you make too light of their experience or feelings.

5. Use this time of re-entry as a growing process for your family to learn about your student, the people group/culture in which your student served, and how you can continue to minister to the people group from home. Re-entry provides an opportunity for you and your family to become bi-cultural or multi-cultural people.

6. Express to your student what God has done in your life and your family's life during your student's time in another country. Possibly the changes God prompted were the result of your student serving internationally.

7. Help your student find opportunities to share the story of his/her international mission service. Examples of this can be a church service, Sunday School classes, or other groups.

8. Help your student learn to tell his or her story well. There are many tips to help people effectively tell their stories, please spend some time researching these.

9. Review the most significant changes that have occurred while your student was gone on mission. Talk through the events and changes, show pictures and videos of events, if possible, and discuss the implications of those events and changes on your student's future.

10. Talk with your student about his/her great expectations in returning home. How relevant and realistic are they? What are steps your student can take, and your family can take, to meet the realistic expectations?

11. Keep a clear perspective and remember that God is with you!

Conflicting Values 

Preoccupation with materialism
              Back in Australia, the desire for material comforts and possessions is a dominant theme. Are you prepared to face this fact if you are returning from a culture where people are content with little or have only the basic necessities of life? Has your sensitivity to basic human needs been heightened by your experiences abroad? What response might you have to affluence, waste or overindulgence?

Suggestions:

1. Do not be quick to condemn; realize that others have not had the same exposure to another way of life. Their preoccupation with "their world" as they know it is only natural.

2. Be prepared for a sensory bombardment if you are accustomed to simplicity in choice and lifestyle. An overabundance of goods, choices, etc. can overwhelm you at first.

3. Expect others to not fully understand how you feel when their "materialistic ways" strike you as sinful.

Doing things the "best" way
         This is often referred to as ethnocentrism. It's only natural that every culture values its ways. Is bigger, better, faster and more accurate really best? Do other cultures have something to offer us? Expect to receive blank stares or an air of disapproval from your compatriots if you question traditional ways.

Suggestions:

1. Be on the alert for a "holier-than-thou" attitude. Do not be too quick to judge others for their ethnocentric stance or to think that your way is the best way.

2. Share your perspectives, but at the same time avoid becoming involved in arguments . Do not allow yourself to withdraw or refuse to discuss matters because of opposition.

Personal worth and recognition
Possibly one of the most difficult areas to address is personal fulfilment. Your questions may include: Was my service valuable? Will anyone recognize my contribution or my sacrifice? Will I be just another fish in a big pond? What will the situation be like upon my return? Quite likely you are returning from a position where you were the focus of attention, where you felt needed, accepted and loved.

Suggestions:

1. Do not expect to be in the limelight for long after your return. Some may ask to see your pictures, have you speak, etc., but soon you will be back to your "ordinary citizen" status.

2. Realize that your worth and recognition comes first from God. View your service as service to Him, not something with which to gain recognition and praise from others.

3. Do not allow yourself to feel hurt or sorry for yourself when people do not notice you or your service. God does. Look for ways to meet others' needs; this will help you take the focus off yourself (Phil. 2:3-4).

From the students

Hello people at home, hope errytang is going swell! I am having a fabulous time over here with my three Filipino fiancé's and the weather is fine even though the news says the opposite there is nothing but a few clouds every now and then! Luv u all, see u soon xxx - Andrew

Hey people at home, I'm fine here not much has happened, miss you all - Ben T

Hi guys I am having a good time here I have missed you a lot it is all fine here I
And will be home soon cya ------brad h


Hello mumma and papa, miss you both so much. I can't wait to see you and hopefully that happens soon. Tell Ella that I miss her and Uncle Mark that I miss him, and everyone else. I'm sure you guys aren't even worried anyway but we've had nothing bad here at all. See you all soon. Love you xxx - Imbo

Hey mum dad and bro, missing you guys a lot and i can't wait to see you guys. Have been thinking about you guys and I hope everything is going good at home. I'm really enjoying the trip and it's been amazing to have had this opportunity, defiantly once in a life time. Say hi to everyone and see you guys all very soon. Love you xxx
Chelsea

Hey there family! I'm missing you guys heaps and I can't wait to get home and see you guys. Hopefully we will be able to fly home soon and aren't stuck here for too much longer. I'm having an amazing time here and I'm going to miss it a bit but it will be good to be home :D love you all xx - Joshua

Hey fellas, hope you're having fun without me. See you all when I get home.
-Al

To my family I want to tell you that I'm fine but I had a close call last night as I ate peanuts by mastake, all good now and I love you lots see you soon!!!

Hey guys I hope everything at home is good and I hope that when I get back I will be a changed man
Steven

Hello Mother Dearest, Fadda and Brother, I can't wait till I can give you all cuddles. Missing you's so much, hopefully we'll be home soon xo this trip has been so magical, I'll have so many stories for you when I'm back. I love you all.
-Rachel Fairham

Hi Mumma, Daddy, Fam and Pete!
I'm having such a good time over here and have learnt so much! Today was a pretty chilled day like the last couple here in Dumagete. We had end of trip debrief, lunch and then went and saw The Hunger Games, very different to Mr. Beachams usual days (not minding at all).
Hoping to see you all very soon and tell you about all the stories and amazing experiences I have had and grown from!
I love and miss you all so much and am so greatful for each and everyone of you in my life!
-Rach Ferris xxxxx

Hey Mamsey, Markos, broseph, scaz and the animals
I can't wait to see you all and tell you about everything so get prepared for some non stop talking for
 a few hours. Today was a fab day of chilling and we even got to see the new hunger games.
Anyways, I look forward to seeing your beautiful faces and giving you and the animals big hugs. Much love to you all at home
- Abbey Hassett

Hey mama bear, matt and the 4 boys. Hope to come home soon, can't wait to share all the stories with everyone and that maccas run when I get back. Miss you all like crazy!
-Ash xx

Hey mumma, dad and the brothers
I can't wait to see you and tell you all about my trip. I'm missing you guys so much, hope to see you soon. Love you all xxxxx
-Amy

Hi Mum and Morgy
I can't wait to see you both and tell you about how great the trip has been. I hope you are looking after Xena and Iggy while I've been away
Love you all
Ebony xxxx

Hi mum
I'm excited to come home and see you, I hope your going well and I'll see you soon
Xo ❤️💙
From Calvin

Hey Mum and Dad
All good here, had a great time and I am pretty keen to come home
See you guys soon
Much love from Ben

Hey Mum, Dad and the kids
Everything is running really smoothly here and we haven't been effected by the weather much. Just praying to catch a ferry tomorrow morning so that we can come home.
Much love to you all, hopefully I will see you soon
Much love, Lewis. X

Hey mum,
Missing you heaps looking forward to getting the all clear to come home! We have barely been affected by the typhoon only had a few drops of rain and that's it. Hope everything is all good at home and I can't wait to come home and see you. Love you always. Georgie xxxx
Ps missing my friends dearly but I appreciate all your kind thoughts, I'm safe and well and will see you all soon!

Hey mum, dad, bree and kody.
Can not wait to come home, happy birthday for the other day dad iam so excited to give everyone their presents and I hope you are excited for the lots of stories I will be telling when I get home.
Lots of love Tanika!!xx

Hey nana, papa, Craig, lil bruh and birth giver
How's ma fambam? We're doing fine over here, desperately missing home and can't wait to see you all your lovely faces. Hope you had fun setting up the Christmas tree without me. I love you all dearly and ill see you soon. P.s tell yashi I don't miss her and she's no longer loml💕
Much love, Aislinn xoxo

Hey y'all (mum, dad, big josh and dylannnn )
Zoe here, just want to say I miss your faces and I can't wait too see you all! We are all doing well and just playing the waiting game trying to figure out how we will get home and when that will be! Love you all muchly 😘😘😘😘
P.s mum I expect a cake since I missed your birthday 🎂

Day 15 - Typhoon update 07/12 at 6am

Dear Parents/Guardians,

As of 6 am today Typhoon Hagupit (locally known as Ruby) there has not been any change to the fine weather of Dumagette overnight. The students enjoyed sleeping and resting in their hotel rooms.  We will continue to send updates via the blog, The school Facebook account and parent e-mail accounts.

The Philippines trip staff

Day 14 - Typhoon update 06/12 at 6pm

Dear Parents/Guardians,

As of 6 pm today Typhoon Hagupit (locally known as Ruby) entered the Philippine islands.  The students and staff are safely accommodated in a hotel away from the expected path of the typhoon in the city of Dumagette.  At 6 pm there has not been any change to the fine weather of Dumagette. The students enjoyed a busy day of rest and recreation and are currently resting in their hotel rooms after a very busy fortnight.  We will continue to send updates via the blog, The school Facebook account and parent e-mail accounts.

The Philippines trip staff

Day 13

Dear Parents/Friends & Supporters,

Today the team enjoyed a refreshing wake up at 2:30AM. This was followed by a long coach bus ride to a port city called San Carlos.  The plan was to catch the ferry to the next island port called Toledo city and drive 3 hours into Cebu city to catch our return international flight to avoid being in the country when the typhoon hit.  What would have been a short ferry ride to the island that was in clear visibility became an unpromising search for transport to get back home.   The coastguard had shut down all water travel in the area because of the impending typhoon even though the weather was clear and the water looked like a mill pond. 

We then tried plan B which was to drive down the southern tip of the island to avoid the typhoon path to the city called Dumagette which has a shorter Ferry ride and more protected waters.  When we arrived to the port we were greeted with the news that the president of the Philippines had shut down all water travel in the Philippines. The whole morning, until around 10AM was full of rejection from the coast guards due to a shutting down of all sea passages.  We then tried plan C which was to try domestic flights but on arriving to the airport we were greeted with a closed signs due to the typhoon.  By then we had emptied all our resources with no success and constant rejection despite the efforts of our calm and fearless leaders. However, this day improved dramatically when we enjoyed a classic McDonald’s brekkie. From there, our day improved and took an adventurous turn when the team came to grips with the inevitable unpredictability of the Philippines during preparation for a super typhoon. 

The team briefly settled into their hotel (called Tip Top hotel) then enjoyed pampering, when the boys enjoyed a massage and went to the barber.  The girls enjoyed getting their manicures, pedicures and hair treatment.  In the evening, the team was treated to a night out at the movies where we watched the movie Exodus.  After we had completed watching the film, we dispersed once more into the mall where we bought dinner for ourselves on the budget set by Mr Beacham.  Now on very little sleep, we are all getting ready for a long awaited rest, although many of us napped on the bus and during the movie. Today was unpredictable which made it all the more exciting and we are all looking forward to a new adventure tomorrow.  We are all safe and we are being looked after very well by our faithful teachers who have our safety as first priority.

Love from your favourite homeboys, Josh and Al 

Day 12

Dear Parents/Friends & Supporters

This morning we woke up at 6:30 and ate a delicious breakfast at 7. As we munched we discussed the impending typhoon that is planning on hitting the Philippines on Saturday or Sunday. Last night Mr Beacham alerted us that we will be teaching a class by ourselves, however he failed to mention the grim reality of the situation…. we were to be not in groups but by ourselves in the classroom.  After devouring our grub we obliviously walked to Cabacungan Elementary School.  

We were soon assigned to our classrooms, of years ranging from kindy to year 6. It was then we realised we were in the deep end, as the class stared blankly at us, with expectant eyes, waiting for us to enlighten them to a bigger world.  With crowded minds and panicked hearts, we mustered up the courage and dove in head first. After overcoming the trepidation of an expectant classroom, we managed to bond and build eternal relationships with the kid, which was identified through the sheer extravagant number of friendship bracelets acquired by most students.  

At the end of our hour of emotional teaching, we had the honourable privilege of feeding our respective classrooms with the local cuisine.  It was after this that we were entreated to a marvellous Goodbye Ceremony. Then when the formalities were finished we said our final goodbyes to the kids, by way of photos and balloons. However, this simple action caused great mayhem and danger as there was a stampede of children forcing us ballooners, to take refuge in a nearby classroom.  Despite this dramatic ending, we as a team felt ecstatic to have an opportunity to influence children’s lives with a simple act of kindness.

We headed back to our humble abode to eat some more scrumptious grub. Then we headed back to the iRC Community, for the last time to engage with the kids and finished our work painting, the now Gwapa (beautiful) orphanage. As we were tying balloons and blowing bubbles the kids were rather upset, showing small signs of happiness when handed a balloon appose to previous days where by the kids showed great joy in receiving a coloured balloon dog. We were unsure whether this was due to our departure, however it was very upsetting. After we had said our painting and said our goodbyes, we were able to bathe in style under a flowing waterfall.  After the rickety ride back to the guest house we were surprised to receive the traditional Australian BBQ, consisting of sausage and bun, however the sausage was not sufficient… it was a frankfurter.

Soon after dinner we headed over to the ikthus church (where last night Balut was consumed and later vomited out in the garden) to receive our final goodbye by the church community. We sang beautiful worship songs, we were serenaded by the incredible violinist and heard a stupendous message from our Chaplin Peter Chase. With a very short goodbye, we begrudgingly trudged but to our inn to partake in our last debrief in Cabacungan and then off to pack for our upcoming journey….. it was safe to say that this day undoubtedly secured its position as one of the most heartbreaking yet encouraging days of our trip.

Lot of love to the folks at home from Dave, Chelsea and Sam N

Day 11

Dear Parents/Friends & Supporters.

This morning we woke up at six thirty and got ready for breakfast that was very well appreciated. I was so excited for a coffee.  After breakfast we went to the rice fields and I really enjoyed getting in the mud and actually learning how rice grows and how it is harvested, it is a lot like wheat. We then went to the Lovely River and spring to wash the flour bags for reuse. We then headed back to the house we are staying at for lunch, and there was really nice crumbed chicken which I mixed with some sweet chilli sauce.  After lunch we headed to the IRC Church for food distribution and time with the community and making dogs and swords out of balloons. We then went back to the river for our last session of washing clothes, and a swim in the clear, fresh spring. Dinner was a feast of spring rolls, rice, chicken and pork, but little did we know that a food challenge was ahead for the rest of the evening.

My attempt in the food challenge probably wasn't up to scratch, as I barely got to the second level, where I ate chicken liver. Soon enough it became intense and Ben T beat the Balut (14 day old chicken foetus) record from last year which was fourteen, to this year’s amazing amount of twenty seven. My highlight of today was watching the two monkey’s intense curiosity, as one knew how to unzip a bag, and the other was holding my hand. Today I was on the biggest high, I think because I feel so privileged to be on this mission trip.

Just a shout out to everyone at home, I miss you guys and I can’t wait to see you all and tell you all my experiences.

Abbey

This morning I woke up at six o’clock, and then had a shower which was cold. Then we had an amazingly delicious breakfast after the challenging day yesterday, I ate five big pancakes. After breakfast we went to the rice fields to do harvesting and have a couple hours to experience what it’s like to work as a Filipino person. In the rice harvesting fields it is all mud so we were all knee deep in mud, we all just made it better by saying “it’s just like a free mud treatment”. We went to the local spring, which almost looks like it’s off a movie because it’s that beautiful. The spring is where the local people wash their clothes and shower, but we went there to wash off the mud from harvesting and we also washed some flour bags for the people from the IRC can make flour bag shorts.

We then went to the local church to do food distribution and spent time with the community by making balloon animals. After being at the church for an hour we walked to the IRC to paint the orphanage then we washed our clothes in the spring and had a swim. After we had dinner we walked to the local church and did a food challenge which was all the weird local food, I only got to level two because I couldn’t make myself eat chicken liver.

Hey Mumma and everyone else at home, I’m missing you heaps and I can’t wait to see you. I will be home so soon to tell you about my trip, I hope you taking good care of Ezy. I hope you see all of my five people from my family at the airport even my brothers!  I love you and see you soon xxxx

Amy Lee

I was woken up at some ridiculous hour by Pastor Pete snoring sounding  like a steam train so I gave him a nudge which stopped him snoring and I could go back to sleep. Then I woke up at for six thirty when we were meant to wake up and got changed and ready for another marvellous breakfast cooked by the lovely people at the house we are staying at. After we travelled on foot to IRC and while we waited for the buses we played with the monkey. We finally got onto the bus and travelled to the local rice field that needed to be harvested. I collected the rice from the people harvesting the rice then put up onto the machine to be processed. After we had done that for a couple hours we went to a lovely river to clean the flour bags that will be made into shorts. Then we went back to our house where we are staying for another marvellous lunch, after that we went to the local church to distribute for to the community. This was an amazing time being able to give to the community but really hard and sad because there were a few people left but there were no bags left. This was really tough to see this.

After that we went back to IRC to do painting but I had to Christian Ministries work which I found challenging because I wanted to do painting. Then we went to washing our own clothes in the water after back for dinner which was marvellous as always. Then we went to the local church and ate some “interesting” food one of them was balut and I managed to eat eleven of them but after a while I vomited them it all out which was very relieving.

To everyone in Australia hope you are all well and can’t wait to see you and tell you all about the trip.

Ben W